


Worship

by snii



Series: Golden Veins [2]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: M/M, Phase Four (Gorillaz), phase four has me dying physically.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 06:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10893948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snii/pseuds/snii
Summary: Old habits are hard to kick. He'd like to think he's trying, at least.





	Worship

**Author's Note:**

> _can i still make it right?_   
>  _can i be what you like?_   
>  _can i keep up this fight?_   
>  _i hope that you'll never know_   
>  _why i need your control_

What was it like to be worshiped?   


It was a question that's maybe plagued him for, oh, several years. On and off. It was like a constant flurry of static running amok in his head, and no amount of hard knocking to the noggin would make it go away. 

Sometimes he wasn't sure if he liked it.  
Sometimes it was all that he craved. 

Occasionally, he did get it. 

There was once a constant source of it from where he could trace the origins back to. A delicate, lanky, and anxious sort of source. 

... 

Ah, yeah. Right. There _used_ to be.  
He had to remember that. 

"Fuck's sake," Murdoc grumbled, eyes darting from side to side as he stepped-- no, he stomped outside. 

A door slid shut behind him, and he paid it no further mind.

Shoes mercilessly stepped over wet grass, letting him wager that it had rained the past few hours. He had to roll his eyes at that, slap a palm to his cheek and drag it down rough skin. Sometimes he wondered what was even the point of being in "the best band in the world" when they had to off and on spend claustrophobic nights in shitty hotels. 

He supposed that's what show business was all about, but it wasn't _his_ kind of show business.

"Hey Muds," a voice called out, making him look up from his semi-coherent stupor. 

"... Oi, hey dullard."

It was a casual response stated as he stopped in his tracks, just now realizing he had hardly any idea where he was going until now. 

Just a minute or so ago, he was letting the hotel's glass door slam behind him--

"Wot're you doin' up so late?" asked 2D, somehow managing to remain a ray of sunshine despite Murdoc's apparent mood. 

\--and, yet, here he was.   
Staring at 2D. Who was... apparently sitting on the hood of their car.

"I needed a smoke," he replied with hardly any heart in it, eventually stepping closer to the vehicle to lean his backside against it.

"O-Oh! Okay. Goddit, goddit."

Such a response forced Murdoc to roll his eyes, trying to occupy his attention with something else. The stars, maybe? Yeah, that seemed like a good idea. 

His head raised towards the night sky, adjusting his sight accordingly to catch every little twinkle of light shining from the darkness. Licking his lips, he started to rest his elbow casually upon the car's hood. 

Maybe this hotel wasn't an all too bad pick.  
He did have _this_ , at least even if it was boring.

The car bounced just slightly, causing Murdoc to stop his stargazing and turn his head towards what he assumed was the interruption. His expression signified the potential of a scolding only for it to be halted by why it happened. 

2D had swiftly, if albeit nervously, turned his head away to try and save face by looking up at the stars. Murdoc knew what he did, though.

Poor sod had scooted over to let Murdoc on.

He sighed, shook his head a little, and climbed onto hood to resume his gazing. 

Although, it might've been a bit shortlived.

"Err... Muds?"

"Yea yea, what?" he vaguely snapped, eyes quickly glaring at him from the side. 

2D flinched, if only a little, before he looked away again. Hand anxiously scratched the back of his head as he sighed out of what Murdoc assumed to be frustration. He had no idea what the vocalist was doing with his other hand, nor did he find it all that important.

It took a few seconds of strange silence before Murdoc was about to go on to egg the clumsy man on and make him move faster. Just as he was, he had turned his head to stare harder at him but was turned down when a lighter was held out to him.

"--Th'fuck is this, mate?"

"A lighta'," 2D muttered, looking down at his lap as he began to kick his legs out. 

"Yeah, _o_ kay but for what?" he pressed before 2D glanced up with a somewhat annoyed stare.

"Fo'yer smokes, Muds!"

It wasn't necessarily a shout, but he definitely had a louder volume than before. 

Murdoc found himself in an odd position for a while before his gaze dropped, awkwardly staring down into his lap before he reluctantly plucked the lighter from 2D's hands. 

No longer focused on his opposite, he pulled out a pack and slid one cigarette out from its confines. Placing it inbetween his lips, he shoved the pack back into his pocket and started working with the lighter.

Soon, he got it to work and was finally telling the truth about needing a smoke.

He figured it'd be fine if he held onto the lighter for a while, so he slid it into his pocket, too.

Now what?   
Was he supposed to thank him?  
Maybe.

Turning away, he set an elbow on one thigh and practically smashed his mouth into his palm. Eyes narrowed as he glared off to the side. 

"..."

Eventually, a muffled "thank you" managed from the inside of his hand.

2D hadn't seemed to hear it, and on any other day Murdoc would've been fine.

But he found himself bothered.

Grumbling, he moved his hand slightly and tried again. This time it was a vague attempt of a "thank you" yet his voice was still painfully low and quiet.

He searched for a reaction on 2D's face, but it almost seemed like the vocalist already forgot that he was here. All he was doing was kicking his legs back and forth, staring down at his lap with brows furrowed. Murdoc took note of him fiddling with his fingers, occasionally twiddling his thumbs.

"Hey!" he started, raising his voice ever so slightly from its intended volume as he leaned towards 2D with wide, exasperated eyes. 

It seemed to be more than enough to catch 2D's attention, causing him to jump and hiccup slightly. Murdoc's lips popped the smallest of smirks before his expression dropped. He moved one hand to his shoulder and breathed out a tiny cloud of smoke.

"Didn't ya hear what I said, face-ache?" he finally asked, raising one eyebrow even though he knew 2D wouldn't be able to see it. 

All he got as a response was a quick shake of the head and both hands abruptly raising like he was about to be arrested.

In a way, the scene itself was funny.  
In another way, it... probably wasn't all that funny.

Grunting, Murdoc pulled away and fumbled a bit. Now that all of the vocalist's attention was on him, he knew he was going to stumble here and there but fuck it, right? 

Pulling out the pack from earlier, he held it out towards 2D as casually as he could. 

"... Go on, mate. Take one," the bassist was practically insisting. "Just one, though. Ju- _uuu_ st one."

"Is dis some kinda trick or somefink?" 2D asked after a few seconds of looking around. 

Maybe he was looking for cameras.  
He was looking for something. 

When faced with the facts, Murdoc knew he had a right to.

He still tried, though.  
At this point, all he could do was try.

Because he remembered, but maybe 2D didn't remember.

All he needed was a bit of a push is all.

Shaking his hand a little to further tempt him, Murdoc cocked his head slightly to answer the question. 

Pursing his lips, 2D reached out and carefully pulled out one from the pack. As soon as he did, Murdoc reeled his hand back and immediately shoved the pack deep into his pocket.

"Oh, uh... Fanks--" 

"Ya didn't even light it yet," he interjected as fast as he could, sliding the lighter out from his pocket and waved 2D to come closer.

Initially, the singer was hesitant and rightfully so. Murdoc was being as patient as he could, but there was only so much he was willing to take.

"'m not gonna fuckin' bite. C'mere," he started out as a grumble that steadily increased to a light command.

It's what made 2D scoot close, maybe a bit too close, but it didn't necessarily bother Murdoc. Not tonight, anyway. He'd let it slide.

Calmly-- he hoped, anyway-- working the lighter, he soon summoned a small flame and, as soon as his opposite planted the cigarette in his mouth, carefully lit the tip. 

Popping the lighter shut, he watched with a dazed interest 2D's reaction. He seemed unsure. Maybe he was confused. That was always a possibility but then again, that seemed to be the guy's personality twenty-four seven. Murdoc would have to remind himself to laugh at that later.

A small puff of smoke revealed itself, signaling to the bassist that he wasn't gone from this world yet.

"See, wuzzat so bad, 'D?" he asked, barely noticing his use of an old nickname.

2D noticed but said nothing. Merely, he nodded and smiled to which was returned with a signature grin. Eyes met and settled on one another for a moment. Briefly. Expressions relaxed. That's all it was before they soon returned their attention back up to to the night sky.

Murdoc sucked in a breath before releasing, a large cloud of grey escaping from his lips. Mostly relaxed, he wasn't prepared for the suddenness of 2D resting his head on his shoulder.

"--Oi," he began, making the vocalist start to tense. He noticed that his hands were tightly clasped together with fingers entwined. 

... Aw, what the fuck ever.

"Y'know what? No. Stay there. It's fine."

The tensing gradually subsided as Murdoc rested his hand on 2D's closest thigh. Giving a firm squeeze, he stared silently up at the sky as random stars twinkled and lit up in the far off distance.

For this moment, things felt normal. 

He liked it and wondered if 2D liked it, too.

Being normal felt... nice. 

Worship certainly was a strange word.   
Sometimes he missed the feeling.

Not right now, though.  


Right now, this was nice.  
He liked that better.


End file.
